So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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