you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
