I can text with my tongue
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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