I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
