My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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