Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
