Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
