Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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