Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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