My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my sisters under your porch take her home
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Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
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