If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
