He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think my tv is drunk
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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