So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So many bounce houses so little time
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
