Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
