I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
