i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
