she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize