Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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