I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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