do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
