shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
