i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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