Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
