she looked like the before picture.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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