Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
