I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
