That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
