if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
