god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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