If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
