Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
