five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
