you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
