and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
