They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
