do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
