I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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