He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
