He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
