i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
