you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
