Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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