I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize