and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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