ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
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Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize