i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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