I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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