you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm jealous of your bromance
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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