I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize