Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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