he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
