I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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