well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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