bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
