you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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