HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
