I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
