i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
