census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
