no one should ever give us hovercrafts
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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