im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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