Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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