complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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