butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
