Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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