so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
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he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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