I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
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