She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
