just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
